Your Dog Isn’t Stubborn, They’re Struggling to Think!

Every dog owner has been there.

You ask your dog to sit, and they suddenly develop selective hearing. You recall them out on a walk and they look right at you before trotting off in the opposite direction. It’s easy to sigh and mutter, “you’re so stubborn.”

But here’s the truth: stubbornness isn’t really a canine trait. It’s a human label we use when we don’t understand what’s going on underneath. More often than not, a dog who seems “defiant” is actually struggling to think clearly in that moment.

And once you understand why, it changes everything about how you train and communicate.

The Myth of the ‘Stubborn Dog’

When we say a dog is stubborn, we’re really expressing our own frustration, not describing their behaviour accurately. The word implies the dog knows what we’re asking and is choosing not to do it.

Dogs don’t act out of spite or pride. They respond to their current emotional and physiological state. In other words, they’re doing what makes sense to them in that moment, given how they feel and what they’ve learned so far.

It’s a bit like trying to have a calm, rational conversation when you’re late for work, can’t find your keys, and someone’s just cut you off in traffic. Your logical brain takes a back seat, your emotional brain takes over. Dogs experience a similar shutdown when stress, excitement or frustration kicks in.

When the Thinking Brain Switches Off

The ability to respond to cues, make choices, and control impulses all live in what behaviourists call the “thinking brain”, the part of the nervous system involved in learning and decision-making. But when stress hormones like adrenaline, dopamine and cortisol flood the body, that thinking part goes offline.

The body’s priority shifts to survival, not learning. That’s the fight, flight, freeze, or fidget response we talk about so often in behaviour work.

So, when your dog ignores you in a busy park or “forgets” a well-practised recall, it’s not that they’re being difficult, they’re overwhelmed. The brain that processes “sit” or “come here” simply isn’t available in that moment.

It’s biology, not bad manners.

Common Situations Where Dogs Struggle to Think

Here are a few moments where the ‘thinking brain’ tends to shut down:

• High Arousal: Play, greetings, or the sheer joy of being outdoors can push dogs past the point where they can process instructions.

• Stress or Fear: Sudden noises, strange environments, or approaching dogs can send them into survival mode.

• Frustration: When rewards are unclear or delayed, dogs may bark, pull, or disengage.

• Fatigue: A tired brain learns poorly. Overtraining or lack of rest can look like stubbornness.

• Pain or Discomfort: If a behaviour suddenly changes, pain should always be ruled out before assuming stubbornness.

Each of these moments isn’t a dog “being naughty”, it’s a signal that the environment, task, or emotional load is simply too heavy.

How Humans Accidentally Make It Harder

When a dog doesn’t respond, our instinct is often to repeat ourselves, raise our voice, or add pressure. Unfortunately, that only increases the stress.

Imagine being asked a question you can’t answer, and the person keeps shouting it louder. You’d freeze or panic, not suddenly find the right answer. Dogs feel exactly the same.

The more tension in the leash, voice, or body language, the harder it becomes for them to process what’s being asked. Pressure rarely creates clarity, it usually creates confusion.

Helping Your Dog Think Again

If you’ve ever found yourself in that situation, the key is to pause, not push.

Here are some simple ways to bring the thinking brain back online:

• Pause and Breathe: Take one calm breath before repeating yourself. Your dog mirrors your nervous system.

• Lower the Difficulty: Increase distance from distractions or ask for an easier behaviour.

• Reinforce Calm Focus: Reward small signs of engagement, a glance back, a moment of stillness, a choice to pause.

• Decompress Often: Downtime, sniffing, and rest are essential for mental clarity.

• Build Gradually: Don’t expect your dog to think clearly in chaos if they can’t yet do so in quiet.

A helpful reminder: a dog who can’t think needs safety, not correction.

From Control to Connection

When we let go of the idea that dogs are stubborn, something shifts.

Training stops feeling like a battle of wills and becomes a partnership. Instead of demanding compliance, we start supporting emotional regulation.

True obedience isn’t about control, it’s about communication under calm. And calm can’t be forced, it’s cultivated.

The next time your dog “ignores” you, try reframing the moment.

Don't ask “Why won’t you listen?” but “What’s making it hard for you to listen right now?”

That question alone turns conflict into connection.

A Gentle Next Step

If you’ve been feeling stuck with a dog who seems unpredictable, unresponsive, or “just stubborn,” you’re not alone. Many behaviour challenges come down to stress, emotion, and communication, not defiance.

At The Caring Canine Coach, I help owners rebuild focus and calmness by working with their dog’s emotional state, not against it.

Every small moment of understanding brings you both closer to success.

➡️ Find out more about my one-to-one behaviour support here https://www.thecaringcaninecoach.co.uk/behaviour-support-prices